“Other new books are using titles that are actually quotes of his, like ‘I Alone Can Fix It,’ and ‘Frankly, We Did Win This Election.’ Those, of course, join the ranks of other great titles, like ‘People Are Flushing Toilets 10 Times, 15 Times,’ ‘The Kidney Has a Very Special Place in the Heart,’ ‘Person, Woman, Man, Camera, TV: The Book,’ and, of course, ‘In Europe, They Live, Their Forest Cities. They Are Called Forest Cities, They Maintain Their Forests, They Manage Their Forests. I Was With the Head of a Major Country — It’s a Forest City.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“The big bombshell from these books is an account of the infamous moment during the D.C. Black Lives Matter protest when the big strong law and order president hid in an underground bunker. The ex-president was so embarrassed when his little hidy-hole adventure was leaked that he reportedly said, ‘Whoever did that, they should be charged with treason,’ adding, ‘They should be executed.’ Careful, sir, if you start executing people for leaking, you’ll have to find a new lawyer.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
